Self Care from A Bipolar Disorder Man's Point of View

Practicing the right kind of self care can make a real difference in managing bipolar disorder symptoms. Self care from a man's perspective is more than finding a way to unwind after a long day, In fact, from this man's point of view, it is an intrinsic part of "recovery" that allows one to experience ongoing stability and clarity towards a better future. Self care, for me, began with apassionate desire to achieve a state of being that was satisfying, like happiness or contentment.

1) Begin With Commitment

Self care begins with a commitment to follow your doctor's treatment plan; particularly as it relates to taking the medication he or she prescribed. Balancing the brains bio-chemistry is the cornerstone upon which self care and everything else rests.

2) Visualize What It Will Be Like To Attain Your Deepest Desire

That is the spark that ignites hope. To put it another way, "Without a vision, the people perish." (Prov. 29:18) A good example of this can be seen in the following illustration.

Many little boys dream about or visualize themselves as one day becoming a major league baseball player on a team that wins the World Series. It is the idea that one day that vision could become a reality that drives that youngster to do whatever is required to make that dream come true.

3) Develop A Plan With Discernable Goals To Track Your Progress

This can be done by keeping a journal. Included in your plan must be a mindset or attitude to never give up, no matter what obstacles comes your way. I offer this counsel not based on a theoretical theory, but from my own life experience when a friend asked me the following question;

"At this point in your life, if you could do anything you want, what would that be"? That question was asked at a time when I was well along in my treatment plan, in large part due the medication my doctor had prescribed, and my answer reflected that.

"That's easy", I said. "I'd work with people struggling with manic depressive disorder"

"Well then", my friend continued, "if you want to work in the mental health field, find a place to start and work toward that end."

After months of filling out applications, going to interviews ad-nauseam and pressing on through one frustration and disappointment after another, I finally was offered an entry level position in a residential treatment program that was part of a mental health center. Although I wasn't working exclusively with bipolar rapid-cycling patients, I was in the field I desired to be in.

4) Have A Contingency Plan In Place In Cast You Face A Setback

Your Contingency Plan May Include:

A temporary or permanent environmental change. This may be something as simple as a stroll on a beach - a walk in the park - listening to relaxing music, or something more permanent like a new place to live.

A consistent physical exercise program can also serve to clear your mind and reset your focus.

Engaging in some form of self-expression, such as; painting, writing, learning to play a musical instrument, gourmet cooking, gardening or learning a new skill can help if you encounter a setback.

Developing new friendships by socially interacting with people who share your interests and with whom you are comfortable being around.

5) Remove "Triggers" That Can Hinder Self Care

Triggers may include:

Trying to derive your identity, self worth, or purpose in life by attempting to "fix" everyone around you in order to gain their approval. Always remember; No one can make another person say, feel, or do anything without first giving them permission to do so.

Living your life well without setting boundary's and limits, particularly when it comes to relationships with others will hinder healthy self care as well. Therefore, learn to think about what you are being asked to do. Then ask yourself if it is in your power to do it and if it would be in the best interest of the person making the request to do so.

The following is an example taken from my own life experience may help clarify this point. I was asked once, how I usually respond when someone pushes my proverbial "panic button".

"I'd probably drop whatever I was doing to help them," I replied.

"Even if you knew that it would not be in that person's best interest?"

"How could it not be in someone's interest not to help them?" I asked.

"When it would prevent that person from helping themselves, or when it might be dangerous to do so."

"But if you care for someone, you're there for them, right?" I countered.

"But where do you draw the line? What are the limits? What if someone said they "needed" one hundred thousand dollars, or a brand new car?" I was asked.

Although some of the questions asked by my inquisitor that day were exaggerated, they stopped me cold in my tracks and the insight starting growing to see what was meant by setting boundaries and limits. I also learned something else that day; that saying "no" sometimes may be the best things I could do to help someone.

Buying into irrational fears and anxieties, can hinder and impede healthy self care. I was made aware of this when a very wise man once said, "Fear and anxiety are rarely based on facts or present reality. They are almost always founded on speculation and "what if" scenarios. However, those same "what if' questions vanish, (and so do fears and anxieties) when the future becomes the present and one's attention is fixed on the solution."

6) What Is At The Core of True Self Care?

True self care is, in fact, the very opposite of what most people think of when it comes to this subject, especially when it comes to men.

All that has been said thus far is certainly helpful, but it is the superstructure. The foundation, upon which absolute self care is built, from this writer's perspective, is love, i.e. meeting the needs of another person, without having as a motive personal gain. In other words, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 29:35) Love is primarily about getting the focus off of one's self and onto others; as such, the measure of genuine self care will be in direct proportion to loving and caring for others. This however, this is only possible, (as mentioned in point #1) when a person's bio-chemistry is under control; and that happens when one remains on the medication prescribed by their doctor.

Let me be perfectly clear, when speaking about "love," I'm not referring to a warm fuzzy emotional feeling, or some form of sensual pleasure.

What I am speaking about is something completely objective - character - which is defined as follows:

"Love is patient and is kind. It is not jealous. It does not brag and is not arrogant. Love is not rude or disrespectful. It is not easily provoked. Love does not keep track of wrongs committed. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices in truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes and endures all things. Love never fails." (I Cor. 13:4-8)

One last thought directed to men. Taking care of yourself, especially when you recognize the signs of bipolar disorder, is not a sign of weakness, but rather is a form of strength. Everyone, including those reading this post, possesses unique talents and abilities. No one is here by accident. We all have a role to fulfill - a purpose - that no one else can carry out but you.

I look forward to your comments. If this has helped you or you have further questions, contact me.